823. Still forgetting to write the new year down after forgetting about the same mistake last year…

Did you forget again that it’s a new year, no 2010, 2011, 2012, let’s just say that the last decade is clearly over, so yes it’s 2013, so remember to make sure to write down the new year!  The best part is when you have to pause and think about the year for a second and then write it down.  Then when you’re done for a split second you think you wrote it down wrong and there’s a cloud of self doubt.  In any case I hope everyone had a safe New Year!

Welcome lucky year 12 … I mean 13!


824. Pulling the first part of toilet paper

So after successfully changing the roll comes the most delicate part of them all: the first tug at the roll of toilet paper.  It seems quite simple but let your eyes not fool you.  The first tug is a keen tug-o-war battle between you and the holy act of cleanliness!  It seems that no matter how lightly or forcefully you pull you can hardly make a simple separation from the roll.  At first it pulls at the first layer and it goes nowhere causing you to bunch it back up and retrying.  Pull again and the paper grabs the second layer…and the third layer.  As you pulling causing a long train of paper to pile up on the floor.  It just continues to pull and makes it worse pulling layer through layer.  After separating the train making a clean break from the roll, but you felt like you’ve pulled enough paper to create a birthday banner!  It should say “Good Luck” for successfully making aclean pull without destroying the roll.  Now with a tangled mess of TP on the counter – AWFUL!

825. Payphones

Does anyone use these anymore?  Let alone carry enough change to make a phone call?  With plastic money and people barely wanting to carry change in their pocket, why bother?  Most of the population has a cell phone or are within a few feet of a person that at least has one?

Even when you have the time to find one and gather the necessary change and walk over to the booth, then something comes to mind. What is their number?  Having it stored on a cell phone or just jotting it down on a slip of paper is a useless point now…. Awful!

826. That akward tour at a friends house

Come on in!

Glad you could make it!

Would you like something to drink?


Let me show you around…

It’s happened to the best of us.  Let me show you my living room, my laundry room, the guest bedroom, the temple for my dog room, the basement, the attic, the pantry, the walk in closet, the utility closet, the baby’s room, the laundry chute, the extra add on kitchen upstairs…well although it is nice to know the essential rest room location.

Is it that necessary to show me every single room with an explanation of each room?

I have always wondered why people did that was it to show off?

Are you inviting me to babysit your kids?

Was it to help me plan my escape route in case you’re insane?

If you’re the lazy type just tell people just be comfortable and look around.  But the explanation of what each room is I just find it pretty funny.  Who’d guess that a fridge is in the kitchen … I thought it was the laundry room!

Guess I’m not going to the bathroom there!

Awfully misguiding!

827. Twist ties

Sure these neat little plastic ties hold air tight your breads and english muffins, maybe even your trash bag.  But forget about trying to unwrap the tie early in the morning if you over twisted the bind.  You end up spending a debate time of 2 minutes trying to figure out if you twisted left or right.  Then you have to pull the bag out in front to look hmm was it right I just twisted or left?  Did I just over or undertwist the bag?!  Forget it I’m getting scissors!


828. That person who stares at your plate and asks,”What’s that?!”

green sauce

Left over dinner?

Bringing a covered dish to a potluck?

That next item you dare not to try figure out that gurgles in the buffet line…

Everyone loves a great meal especially when you have a fresh hot meal of food, but I’m not sure I know of anyone who enjoys people chewing over their food asking rudely, “What’s Thaaaaaat?!!”  Then expect either “Oh,” or a 5 minute story banter of how their family member makes it better than what is being served.

So instead of asking, just eat it and enjoy your meal!

What’s that you ask…something AWFUL!


Read More:

* Strange Food Delicacies


829. That ubexpected random spray of freshner

Whether if it’s in your office lobby, home, or restaurant bathroom it’s the air freshner dispenser that’s mounted to the wall and sprays a fragrant smell to lift your spirits of the decay of the space that you’re in, but it’s moments when it spritzes out when you have no control.  The bad part is that it isn’t a light mist that’s silent and you wonder where the scent came from, but it’s that spray that’s somewhat loud and unexpected.  At times it catch you off guard and when you wait for it you never expect it coming.
There have been many times when I’m in the lobby at work not to expect for it to go off.  I just get shaken up easily.  The worst is when you’re in the bathroom and the other person in there can’t help but think you passed gas.  It just is  great handy invention but it doesn’t need to be so random.
. . ~ ~ ~ > PPPSSFFWWTT!!!
Just awfully smelling good!