824. Pulling the first part of toilet paper

So after successfully changing the roll comes the most delicate part of them all: the first tug at the roll of toilet paper.  It seems quite simple but let your eyes not fool you.  The first tug is a keen tug-o-war battle between you and the holy act of cleanliness!  It seems that no matter how lightly or forcefully you pull you can hardly make a simple separation from the roll.  At first it pulls at the first layer and it goes nowhere causing you to bunch it back up and retrying.  Pull again and the paper grabs the second layer…and the third layer.  As you pulling causing a long train of paper to pile up on the floor.  It just continues to pull and makes it worse pulling layer through layer.  After separating the train making a clean break from the roll, but you felt like you’ve pulled enough paper to create a birthday banner!  It should say “Good Luck” for successfully making aclean pull without destroying the roll.  Now with a tangled mess of TP on the counter – AWFUL!


826. That akward tour at a friends house

Come on in!

Glad you could make it!

Would you like something to drink?


Let me show you around…

It’s happened to the best of us.  Let me show you my living room, my laundry room, the guest bedroom, the temple for my dog room, the basement, the attic, the pantry, the walk in closet, the utility closet, the baby’s room, the laundry chute, the extra add on kitchen upstairs…well although it is nice to know the essential rest room location.

Is it that necessary to show me every single room with an explanation of each room?

I have always wondered why people did that was it to show off?

Are you inviting me to babysit your kids?

Was it to help me plan my escape route in case you’re insane?

If you’re the lazy type just tell people just be comfortable and look around.  But the explanation of what each room is I just find it pretty funny.  Who’d guess that a fridge is in the kitchen … I thought it was the laundry room!

Guess I’m not going to the bathroom there!

Awfully misguiding!

827. Twist ties

Sure these neat little plastic ties hold air tight your breads and english muffins, maybe even your trash bag.  But forget about trying to unwrap the tie early in the morning if you over twisted the bind.  You end up spending a debate time of 2 minutes trying to figure out if you twisted left or right.  Then you have to pull the bag out in front to look hmm was it right I just twisted or left?  Did I just over or undertwist the bag?!  Forget it I’m getting scissors!


829. That ubexpected random spray of freshner

Whether if it’s in your office lobby, home, or restaurant bathroom it’s the air freshner dispenser that’s mounted to the wall and sprays a fragrant smell to lift your spirits of the decay of the space that you’re in, but it’s moments when it spritzes out when you have no control.  The bad part is that it isn’t a light mist that’s silent and you wonder where the scent came from, but it’s that spray that’s somewhat loud and unexpected.  At times it catch you off guard and when you wait for it you never expect it coming.
There have been many times when I’m in the lobby at work not to expect for it to go off.  I just get shaken up easily.  The worst is when you’re in the bathroom and the other person in there can’t help but think you passed gas.  It just is  great handy invention but it doesn’t need to be so random.
. . ~ ~ ~ > PPPSSFFWWTT!!!
Just awfully smelling good!

832. Walking into a hard corner


Ever get up from the TV at night to grab a glass of milk and cookies and on the walk back misguided your steps back and walked into the hard edge of the coffee table?  That searing pain as you jab the corner into your shin.  It sits there and pangs and throbs for about an hour.  How about what happened to me yesterday…I was walking out of the public restroom, the door being heavy to open I pry open with my elbow.  As I toss out the paper with that hand and catching the door..I walk into the door jabbing my forearm into the door handle that jutted out.  The very next day a round bump on my arm and a swollen pain the seared up my arm like I was carrying a 50 lb weight all day.  Final point on the way to the bathroom, you return back to walk into the corner of the bedpost to knick your knee.  So in the end just be careful walking and try not to bump into anything…..AWFUL!

855: Detangling your Holiday Lights

You set aside a day to get out the ladder, put on your rugged wear, grab your gloves, and draw up a master plan to neatly decorate the yard.  As you gather the lights and spend 10 minutes detangling the mass chaos that are the string of lights you start laying out the grand scheme design.  After a an hour or so you’re done!  As you stand back and relish your hard work you then smile and go to plug-in the lights! Half of them turn on and notice that there’s still a small knot of lights you forgot to unravel!!  How awfully disconnected are you feeling now?!


858: Potpourri bowls

Those beautifully decorated bowls of dried scented petals sparsed with wood chips, dehydrated pineapple chunks, and banana pieces.  No wait, those aren’t supposed to be in there!

Those bags of potpourri look weird, what’s in there?

Why do they only work for what seems like 2 weeks then people leave it on their shelves for “decoration” cause they imagine it’ll smell good only to justify it a year later as room decor?  Covering it up with a vanilla spray will not rejuvenate the aromas, give it up and toss it out!  The bowl looks awfully creepy!