826. That akward tour at a friends house

Come on in!

Glad you could make it!

Would you like something to drink?

…sure!

Let me show you around…

It’s happened to the best of us.  Let me show you my living room, my laundry room, the guest bedroom, the temple for my dog room, the basement, the attic, the pantry, the walk in closet, the utility closet, the baby’s room, the laundry chute, the extra add on kitchen upstairs…well although it is nice to know the essential rest room location.

Is it that necessary to show me every single room with an explanation of each room?

I have always wondered why people did that was it to show off?

Are you inviting me to babysit your kids?

Was it to help me plan my escape route in case you’re insane?

If you’re the lazy type just tell people just be comfortable and look around.  But the explanation of what each room is I just find it pretty funny.  Who’d guess that a fridge is in the kitchen … I thought it was the laundry room!

Guess I’m not going to the bathroom there!

Awfully misguiding!

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831. Going overdressed to a party

Nothing says inconvenient like going to a party all dolled up when everyone is in short shorts, flip flops, and a tank top.  A pool party, I though you said prom party.  You just end up walking around surveying the scene hoping that you are just imaging the atrocity, but it’s right floaties and margaritas abound you are definitely a bit overloaded with cummerbund and bow-tie.  Might as well go back to the car and roll up those, take off the blazer, pants and loosen up your white shirt.  Things are about to get a little cooler.

AWFUL attire!

839: Red Marks Left on Your Face by Glasses

Tattooed Glasses

Hopefully it won't hurt this bad!

Well although these may come as complications it’s even harder when you readjust the frame to hold at a better grip to your face.  Then you’re off doing al your day’s chores, events, and tasks and then you come home throw down your keys and plop on the couch and take your glasses off.  The searing pain from the glasses weigh in on your face and you hold the spot by the bridge of your nose.  By pinching, we’re enforcing the impressions left by the glasses.  Walking into the bathroom we stand there to wash our face and see the marks left behind as they stare back at you, yup those marks left by the glasses.  Hello, look at me!

Awful!

848. Passing out at a holiday party

The party has just begun and after 3 or 4 drinks you’re feeling the effects and well you just literally pass out.  N one truly enjoys waking up the next day with a hangover and then hearing all of the awful stories from the night before and to look in the mirror and find crude comments on your face.  Hope you better not have to work the next day!  That’ll be surely a tragic scene.  So no matter how hard you’re partying, do it safely and responsibly, besides you’ll not want your pictures or videos to be posted online for all to gawk at for their pleasure.  Embarassing(ly) hilarious like this person:

View Image

Happy New Year’s to everyone!

Further Reading:

* How to get over a hangover

* Pranks to play on passed out friends

* Passed out photos galleries

850. Getting in a snowball fight with the neighborhood kids

There’s no mercy…just war!

A quick walk out in the snow has it’s perks!  Just to gander at the white blanket of nature’s bliss! To get the load of mail that the mailmen left!  To check the damage of snow on your car that has to be shoveled in the morning!  To watch your friends or kids make snow families!

As you take a few minutes to take a look at the precious snow wonders – PLAT!  Snowball to the back of your shoulder!  Grab a snowball, cause the war has begun!  Nothing is better than the sweet revenge for little Kaleb who tore up your back porch swing this past summer because he thought it was a rocket that would sail him off to the moon!  Here comes a snowball orbiting right to his head now!

Score one for the team, score two for the red blistering pain he’ll get crying back home – awfully enticing snowball pitch!

Further Reading:

* Snowball Fight – FOG (Free Online Game)

* Rules to a Snowball Fight

* Saving the Best Snowball for Last – a musical tribute

853. Wrapping Gifts

As the holiday approaches or any special occasion where gifts are bought in masses, just piling them up is great until you have a stash as tall as Mt Everest and then have to wrap those suckers up.  Some gifts are just so oddly shaped that you have to fold the wrapping paper in ways that no origami book could easily explain.  Then you have some of the gifts that after you’re done you realize that after you are done you were short a spot and left a clear spot open – improvise with a bow or ribbon!

Running out of paper and tape is just even more befuddling when you are in a groove and then as you are just assembly lining up the gifts then you just realize oops now I’m at the tube.   Cheap wrapping paper tears worse than a used dollar tree tissue pack and the fancy scotch tape that invisible when you set it down, well forget finding it once it’s laid.  So if you’re on your day to “wrap” hopefully you’ll have your supplies in well stock and some gift bags and tissue paper handy cause it’ll be a mission to be had.

When you’re done you’ll stand back and smile.. then realize how awful one wrapping job turned out because Muffins the cat wanted to rip open one after you were finished laying them out under the tree!

Further Reading:

* Bad Gift Wrapped: A New Option

* Tips on Wrapping a Gift

* Creative Holiday Gift Wrapping Ideas, Recycled Wrapping : Threadbanger

854: Holiday Party Attire

Tis the season when everyone wants to crack out the old fruitcake and eggnog, so as you line up your invitations from your family party to your work party, what should you wear?!

Choices choices, but here are 3 not stray far away from:

1. Matching holiday sweaters:  sure holiday sweaters are odd and fun, but must you both humiliate yourselves to look like you came from the dark side of an elf’s closet?!  Well yeah you should that way we have visual entertainment to look at while we’re livening it up with punch and cookies!

2. Metallic glittery clothing:  The metallic shimmer is nice unless you want to signal in a plane at your local international airport, but if your clothes shed sparkles no one wants to look like they’ll lead the way on Santa’s sleigh!

3. Festive slippers/hats: seriously?!  They are more annoying because you laugh for a minute at how cute they are but when the person has to turn on their “Wish you a merry christmas” jingle bell hat 1 more time they’ll get beat with a yule log!

Have fun dressing up at your party and have an absurd time with your family and friends this winter holiday!

Further Reading:

* Holiday Office Party Fashion No No’s

* Office Party Etiquette

* Holiday Work Party Etiquette (video)