890: Maintaining you freshly clean car

Thanks to Thomas C:

“When you go through the automatic car wash, and to get out the ONLY exit, om a bright sunny day none-the-less, you need to splash though a mud puddle.”

Continuing points to consider…

Go to fullsize imageBirdie Birdie: The when you get 1/2 a mile down the road a seagull leaves a present on your windshield. It’s small so you decide to use your windshield wiper fluid but instead of cleanly washing it off it smears all across the windshield making it worse than before and partially obstructing your view.  Now you have to move your head around it.

Go to fullsize imageStep Off: everyone has that friend steps into your newly vacuumed car with rocks/pebbles/sand and the mud of a 1000 funks finely plopped into the floor mats in your car. Then as they comfortably sit down you look at them in shock.  They notice the offside look and return to look at you like nothing’s wrong when you give them the death glare.

A sprinkle of sunshine: you park your car in the lot and after an hour of so of shopping you come back to see your car lightly dusted with a fresh coat of pollen, welcome the spring time!

Splish Splash: as if your car couldn’t sparkle any longer it begins to rain and hail now some 15 minutes later!

Go to fullsize imageChuck and Duck: As you are sitting at a red light waiting for the light to change cycles you notice the car next to you with its darkly tinted windows  you try to figure out who’s in there.  A few seconds later the window opens and a hand reaches out and dumps their slurpee or caramelized soft drink out the window and it splashes on the side of your car.  The window rolls back up and the car dashes off.  BEEEEEEP!! Oh the light was green and you take off in your sticky car.



891: Leaving your wallet in the car at the check out line

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Nothing says I’m just as forgetful as all get out when you’ve checked out a grocery cart full of items and then at the moment the total is chimed that you realized you left your wallet in the car.  All you have is a quarter in your pocket.  As you frantically search your pockets you are stunned to realize that it fell out of your pocket in the small space in the crack of the car.  Nice!

Don’t dare turn back to look at the long line behind you at the after work shopper’s rush.  The guy behind you isn’t glaring at you but think how awfully much of a dummy you are for forgetting.

909: When your phone drops in between the seat and door

As if we aren’t distracted enough between checking the texts at red lights, checking missed calls while on the road.  We really should just be focusing on driving.  We all know that but do we do it?  Sometimes we cringe because as one friend told me, “I can’t help but stay connected!”

Well as you reach to grab your phone as it rings and as you make sure you are staying safely in the lane you accidentally drop the phone in the space between the car and the door and can’t seem to grab it.  The phone neatly buzzes there looking at you laughing at you with it’s glowing little “1 Missed call” eyes.

As you reach the phone slides further between the crack and your hand isn’t thin enough to make the wedge to safely grab your phone.  Thankfully you’re at a red light now you can slide back your seat and reach but apparently you still can’t reach the phone.  So now you have to unbuckle your seatbelt crouch under your seat and grab the phone.


Green light and the car in front of you is half a block up the road!  Now how awful is that?!

935. When you set your clocks ahead thinking you have 10 extra minutes

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So you set all your clocks ahead 10 minutes thinking that you’ll save time and get to work early, but you just happen to forget to set ahead your cell phone alarms.  So as you are preparing for your morning routine you hit the snooze button a few times thinking well I have at least 10 more minutes that’ll be okay.

In all reality, as you are setting up and getting ready you just Go to fullsize imageget out of the door and make it on your way with a minute to spare.  Phew! That was close.  You are setting up your car and smooth sailing to work until you get  on to the highway and there is a 3 mile back up to work now putting you 10 minutes behind your  time.

Then to cool off as you turn off the radio he announces the time to be 5 minutes even later than you had set all your clocks at your house.  Now how awfully time sensitive is that?!

Further Reading:

* Time Saving Tips

* How to Reduce Stress in Traffic

* The World Clock

937. Getting stopped at a red light when no one’s there

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It’s 2:00 a.m. you are making it back home from the [club/bar] party, and you decide to spice up your route to prevent from getting drowsy, to take a scenic route.  As you are driving through you are on smooth sailing road hitting all of the green lights.  You hear a song you like then turn up the volume and jam out a little tapping on the steering wheel.

As you approach the next intersection you start seeing in the distance it turn yellow.  You begin to slow down since it’s a good few feet away, oh no cars are on either side of the intersection it’ll turn green soon.  As the light then turns red you begin slowing down and creeping to the stop bar.  Still what seems to be a minute you have to now make complete stop idling in neutral will not help.

Go to fullsize imageThere is no one out on this road intersection of traffic and you look at your dashboard clock, 2 minutes has passed by.  You start to lower your music so you can hear the car idling as you are waiting and searching around hoping at least one car from the opposite direction to at least give this wait some purpose.  So you start pulling up forward a little hoping the ground sensors will recognize a car is at the bar.  You then see the opposite direction lights finally turn yellow.

Go to fullsize imageFinally, you think great I’ll get through this light!!  As the light slow turns to red and then you get your car out of park because literally 4 minutes has gone by you hover your foot over the gas pedal.  No, wait.  The turn signal has just lit up…


Now how awful is that?!

943. Locking yourself out of car/home

 Go to fullsize imageIn a rush, who isn’t these days? Well nothing is just worse than being in a rush out of the door to realize you left your portfolio on your kitchen counter and the house keys in the change dish in your bedroom. Guess they’ll be no getting inside right now.

Even better is that none of your neighbors or home, your friend that has your spare is not answering their phone and that really important job interview you have is in an hour. It’ll be okay because you left the number to the company inside the portfolio.

Guess now would have been a great time to have invested in a credit card.

Flipping the story here…

You spend a great summer’s day at a theme park with your friends and you are returning back to the parking lot and when you get to your car you start reaching in your pocket to only find that you can’t find your keys…oh no…you freeze for a moment and think no wait it’s in my other pocket…feel around…nope. Oh boy! The deep sickening feeling is starting to settle where was I last with the key. At the restaurant where I had set them out hours ago to take my wallet out and get my Speed Line pass out of my pocket and check my cell.

As you check you jacket, tearing it off in worry you begin to panic and as you are standing there you start walking around wondering and panicking. You start looking in the car and don’t see the keys anywhere under the seats from what you can see., but there they are dangling nice waving at you.

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Did you hear that they are laughing at you?! Well better go find a hanger. AAA anyone?! Great, how awfully unnecessary is this? Hopefully unlocking an evening of waiting and failed attempts trying to get back in your car and/or home.

Go to fullsize imageSide story > alternate version: As the worry settles in more and your heart races you figure it’s best to start walking towards the Customer Aide Office. As you and your comrades starts walking over, one friend says what’s that shiny thing on the car, as you walk over it’s your keys. As you grab them and let out such a great sigh of relief and buy a clip to keep them clipped to your pants.

Further Reading:

* How to Retrieve Keys Locked in a Vehicle

* Getting Locked Out of Your House is No Laughing Matter

* Locked Out: Professional Advice