971. Public rest stops

Stretch those buns! by Neal Gillis.

Ah, the joys of road trips with friends, family, or alone.  On the open road and the wind is destiny and so does the rest room because the urge has now exploded into  fury of urgency and half of the people in the car are hungry and you need directions because the GPS has taken you off course 18 miles.

Oh that illustrious rest stop – the haven to refuel, eat, potty, get our essentials and go.

Let’s deconstruct the peculiarity of this place:

Entryway: its always a zoo outside of cars because everyone in the nearest area code decided to go for a ride to visit this place, so good luck finding parking.  Most of these places look like retro lodges and the newer ones look like down town plazas.  Does this place have a directory?

Main Building: as with the recession most of the small rest stops have been cut out from the state since well they were underkept and hardly utilized.   But for the main houses of rest stop areas it can be a mall of selections ranging from the tacky tourist gift shop, sunglasses stand, “what is this name” restaurant, and dungeon-like restrooms.  They can be decorated with fine state history and a wall map of state’s roadways from 3 years ago.  The decor is pretty lack luster and it smells of a bowling alley.

Wonderful-snow-globes-2

 

Tacky Tourist Gift Shop: junky state key chain? Check. I love the state T-shirt? Check.  “All I got was this stupid mug” glassware? Check. Candy that’s been out of commission? Check. Snow globes odd scenery? Check.

 

Sunglasses Stand: you’ve seen them at the mall most likely; the knockoff brands off sunglasses that are so greatly priced 2 or $20.  They’ll look so good they’ll fall off by the time you leave the parking lot! Good luck if you get that sticker off the lens!

 

“What is this name” Restaurant?“: The people could be less than thrilled you are there.  Sure bring a party of 7, cause it sure beats service at your neighborhood family restaurant, wait time 45 min.  One page menu’s and that one employee with the name you can’t pronounce and 3 accent marks in it.  All on the order!, serve it up!

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Dungeon-like Rest room: As you slowly wait your turn, you walk around the corner to the corral of stalls complete with wet floors, tissue paper wadded on the walls, and  grungy sink counters.

 

Gas Station Phone/Plaza: Drive on up to the station where an attendant will fill you up (in some states) or will stare at you as they give you a pack of gum . o O (guess I should’ve got it at the Gift Shop).  Gas pump is slow as molasses and the oil spots are slicker than Walden Pond ice on a winter morning. Dare even go to the payphones that still exist as a cold reminder to keep your cell phones charged.

Back on the road and would you have guessed 15 min later someone has to use the rest room – again?!

 

Now how awful is that?!

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979. Realizing “what in the world did I just do with the last 10 years” of my life?

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Every December as the year comes to a close we prepare to reflect on what was and will be?  There comes a list of “Best of…” and the list of Worst of…” for that particular year, but if you’ve ever chronicled what you’ve done in highlights of each year for the decade, have you done all you could’ve done?  Is there more out there waiting yet to be discovered?

Don’t feel like time is slipping away, there is always a second longer to get in that extra laugh – just go out there and make the best of it, because as the next 10 years roll by quickly ahead, you’ll realize I could’ve wondering, now how awful is that?!

Make the most out of your 1st Day! Awfully Amazing!

992. Regifting the gift to someone who knows

So when we open that gift of gifts (the one we could care oh so less for) we just do the kindest thing we can do and  sigh and give a cheesy smile to those around us and the person who gave us the gift.  They berate the moment as they ongoingly explain their uncertainty of what to give you at the same time they are awaiting your response.  So you take a deep breath and sigh and say “Awwwwww…thanks! You shouldn’t have!”

Note the key words: “You shouldn’t have”

Go to fullsize imageTo make it even better is when you decide to wait a month or so when one of your friends in your circle of acquaintances has a birthday.  As you get invited not knowing what to give them you regift that horrid present you received on the holiday before.  As they open it you try to hope that they forgot you got it first.  They reply, “Oh just like the one you have!  How awesome!”

So as the day progresses and you’re all hanging out you happen to run into the friend who bought you the gist and as you’re all laughing they reach in their bag and share with your friend, “Look at what I got isn’t it just great?!”

Then you see the startled look of realization that what they are holding up is what they gave to you a few months back…

Now how awful is that?!