855: Detangling your Holiday Lights

You set aside a day to get out the ladder, put on your rugged wear, grab your gloves, and draw up a master plan to neatly decorate the yard.  As you gather the lights and spend 10 minutes detangling the mass chaos that are the string of lights you start laying out the grand scheme design.  After a an hour or so you’re done!  As you stand back and relish your hard work you then smile and go to plug-in the lights! Half of them turn on and notice that there’s still a small knot of lights you forgot to unravel!!  How awfully disconnected are you feeling now?!

AWful!

873: People who want to do nothing to save the Earth

Go to fullsize imageHappy Earth Day one and all the day where we go GREEN of trying to figure out all the messages on the ways to conserve and save the Earth.  Do not get me wrong I’m all for recycling but conservation videos, glacial melting, and practically scaring me about the world ending in 2012 well that’s no fun.

Even the Garbage Pail Kid’s cry out in mercy to save the Earth, I got it.. but View Imagewhat ticks me further is when people who blatantly just trash the environment for no reason.  Leaving bathroom stalls will toilet paper on the floor, toss out empty cans of soda at the park, and flick cigarette butts out of the ir car windows littering the roadway medians.

So instead of standing there making the situation worse I think that the road way clean ups, adopt a spots, and tending to homegrown gardens are only great ways to tend to the land and return the humanity of nature from what we stole to build our homes -offices- and play spaces.  Build together and grow a greener Earth.

Why does it matter – Earth Day? Read top opinions reasons here.

Awfully a shame not to help the Earth…

874: When your toothpaste gets messy

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Rise & Shine!  Always best to start your day with a fresh swig of mouth wash, floss, and grab that fine toothbrush and the dreaded toothpaste tube.  Wait a second…dreaded…why so?  Unbeknownst to the average person the tube can be quite an unforgiving product brought to cabinets of many millions of Americans.  Here’s the top 3 reasons why:

  1. Go to fullsize imageNo matter how many times you wipe it down your child always has to squeeze the tube from the middle of the toothpaste tube.  Not many tend to squeeze from the bottom of the tube letting the toothpaste just lay like a badly molded arts and crafts project in your cabinet.
  2. Go to fullsize imageIt’s something about pouring the toothpaste finely on the toothbrush that little kid’s can’t seem to balance.  It lands on the floor and on the counter, in your clothes only to crust over.  Get to work an hour later explain that odd stain to your co-workers they’ll probably grin at you slyly and say, “Suuure…”
  3. Go to  fullsize image My most obnoxious find is when people grab the living life out of the toothpaste and let the contents pour out like a freshly burst birthday pinata – surprise!  No it’s okay don’t clear off the top of the toothpaste, I got it!  Cause I want to sit overnight and crust over and dry nothing says fun in the morning like crusty dried up toothpaste flakes!

Well hopefully that will start your day with a smile – how awfully exciting is that – floss on my friends!

877: The end of sardines in a can

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I don’t know or even admire anyone who likes these little fish tikes on their pizza.  More of a great joke of the 80’s to have pizza orders on TV with anchovies – cue the ba dum ching [cymbal sound for the joke].  Well needless to say the last of these little fishy friends will be finally cut from production in the US, oh well better settle for tuna salad breath  now… awfully sad or exciting…???

Further Reading:

* The last can made in the us

* Sardine recipes

880: Pollen Dust

Go to fullsize imageSo apparently vehicles have gone from black, red, white to now entirely yellow.  The springtime welcomes with a light “snow” trailing of that yellow fiend pollen.  The all might inducer of stuffy noses, itchy eyes, and bad sneezing.  Pollen counts are off on the rise from day-to-day.  Just walking outside my place it was a field of pollen sprawled across the breezeway.  Swirling around in a daze it washed my car from clean to covered in this yellow powdery substance. 

No need to wash my car, the trees will wash it back to yellow for me – how awful is this going to be until summer starts?!

882: Bully Button lint

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After a long day when you come home and kick back and peel off your shirt.  That 10 hour shift just really kicked butt today.  You grab a drink and kick back on the couch and turn on the TV for a few and look down and hanging in the breeze of the fan is your fuzzy little friend.  Calling to you, “Come get me out and let’s play!”  Always in style matching your shirts and full of tangled quirkiness this frenemy is here to linger!

Awfully fuzzy!

Further Reading:

* Where does belly button lint come from?

* How to clean belly button lint

883: Pouring a bowl of cereal only to realize you have no milk

Thanks to Brandon E:

Got the midnight snack munchies?!

You wake up in the middle of the night and think what would really satisfy your hunger pangs and just settle it over till you have to wake up?

Cereal!

You moozy on over to the kitchen pick out the cereal (my fav Frosted Flakes) and you our out a great big bowl of cereal.  As you’re halfway awake you close back the cereal box and put it back in the cupboard.  As you go over to the fridge you stop, turn, and get a spoon.  You turn back and reach for the milk you stare.  No milk!

Huh?  You close the door and think to yourself maybe the light was too bright as you were squinting to find the container – you reopen the fridge door, oh no the milk container was behind the OJ.  You lift up the container and it nearly flies off the shelf.  Huh…that’s funny.  As you open up the spout and give it a sniff – yup fresh – you turn the container to pour…

Go to fullsize imagea drop of milk comes out! No milk, really..no milk.  Apparently it was a novel idea to drink the milk and leave the milk container in there empty – thanks roomie!  Now how awful is that when they wake up to find the empty container sitting at their nightstand in the morning!