874: When your toothpaste gets messy

Go to fullsize image

Rise & Shine!  Always best to start your day with a fresh swig of mouth wash, floss, and grab that fine toothbrush and the dreaded toothpaste tube.  Wait a second…dreaded…why so?  Unbeknownst to the average person the tube can be quite an unforgiving product brought to cabinets of many millions of Americans.  Here’s the top 3 reasons why:

  1. Go to fullsize imageNo matter how many times you wipe it down your child always has to squeeze the tube from the middle of the toothpaste tube.  Not many tend to squeeze from the bottom of the tube letting the toothpaste just lay like a badly molded arts and crafts project in your cabinet.
  2. Go to fullsize imageIt’s something about pouring the toothpaste finely on the toothbrush that little kid’s can’t seem to balance.  It lands on the floor and on the counter, in your clothes only to crust over.  Get to work an hour later explain that odd stain to your co-workers they’ll probably grin at you slyly and say, “Suuure…”
  3. Go to  fullsize image My most obnoxious find is when people grab the living life out of the toothpaste and let the contents pour out like a freshly burst birthday pinata – surprise!  No it’s okay don’t clear off the top of the toothpaste, I got it!  Cause I want to sit overnight and crust over and dry nothing says fun in the morning like crusty dried up toothpaste flakes!

Well hopefully that will start your day with a smile – how awfully exciting is that – floss on my friends!

925: Coffee Grinds in Your Cup of Coffee

Nothing ruins your morning better than a fresh hot cup of coffee with a fresh mouthful of gritty delight!  Thank you paper filter for doing you’re job!

Go to fullsize image

What’s that floating to the top of my coffee?!  (chews) Yeahhhh not so much!  Now how awfully crunchy is that?!

967. Messy Food

Nothing more annoying, embarrassing, and painful than these foods in public and then asking, “Is there anything on my face?” or having to dig it out for the next 20 min:

Caramel: the gooey stuff just gets stuck to you incisors.

Go to fullsize image

Fish Bones: jabbing at your gum or caught in your throat, quite piercing

Go to fullsize image
Popcorn shucks: the yellow skin that digs between the gums.


Go to fullsize image


Cotton Candy: this sweet treats sticks to you; face, hands, lips, where else?!


Go to fullsize image

Ice Cream: sliding all down your chin and on to your brand new shoes!

Go to fullsize image

BBQ Ribs & Wings: grab those ribs and a bib cause it’s gunna get all over!Go to fullsize image


Spaghetti: a fiasco when the fork misses the mouth!


Now go and enjoy your meal!

I think you got a smudge right there… now how awful is that?!


Go to fullsize imageFurther Viewing:

* How to be Sexy Eating Messy Food

989. Your selection gets stuck in the vending machine

Go to fullsize image


Go to fullsize image

Go to fullsize image

View Image

View Image

Go to fullsize image

When you’re in a food comatose state of hunger…now how awful is that?!

Further Reading:

* How to Free a Stuck Item

998.When you have to get your teeth numbered

Go to fullsize imageLike clockwork you go to get your semi-annual dentistry.  As if the dentist isn’t already a carnival of teeth terror with the audible noises or drills, swishing, and suction to make you get that eerie spooked vibe.

So you get your teeth picked, scraped, mouth opened and twisted to every angle imaginable.  You’re suctioned here and there and then you rinse with water.  You get to the golden phase of the brilliant polishing only to hear.. “Oh sorry before we do that we have to update your records, we’re going to have to get your teeth renumbered.”

As you sit there waiting to get this dental charade over with you think, oh really the lottery – at this point in time?  How is that applicable until they lean you back and tell you to open wide for a “probe depth” to measure the pockets between your gum line and teeth.

So as she sets up the machine she starts jabbing away: 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 3, 3…and as you sit there in anguish she has this befuddled look on her face.  “Oh my the machine isn’t holding the readings it’s supposed to be voice sensored to record the numbers I call out.  We’ll I’ll be right back and get some assistance.  I guess we’ll have to go the old-fashioned way and hand input the numbers.”

As you sit there with the suction tube in mouth and the mouth mirror in hand you lay over to the side to look up the hallway waiting for the dental assistant’s return.  Then what only is to occur as the drool begins to leak out of your mouth, but a mother with her 6-year-old son walking by slowly and starts to cry…

Go to fullsize image

Now how awful is that?